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iaaboura I have a choice between staying clean and relapsing this year. I could be clean this year. I didn't think about that last year. I cut myself in March and I guess I didn't think about how it was the first time that year. I was just focused on him. Those are mostly healed I think. I try to stay away from my arm, but I couldn't that time. I realize how scared I was. He just scared me a lot. And now I have dreams and it feels like he's right here with me. I get cold and my hands shake. Saying sorry out loud is kind of all that helps
